


I Still Miss Someone

by NotOneLine



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bachelorette Party, Confessions, Drinking, Drunken Confessions, Drunkenness, F/M, Fix-It, Girls' Night Out, Internal Monologue, Introspection, Love, Lux (Lucifer TV), Revelations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-04-29 12:36:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14472903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotOneLine/pseuds/NotOneLine
Summary: Chloe's bachelorette party. A night full of revelations and realisations.





	1. Chapter 1

_I go out on a party, and look for a little fun._  
_But I find a darkened corner, 'cause I still miss someone._

  
Lux was packed tonight. The club had a well-deserved reputation as a den of iniquity, a safe haven for those who wanted to leave themselves behind for an evening. Desires explored, passions embraced, inhibitions forgotten. Nothing was off limits in LA's most exclusive venue. As night gave way to early morning, for some the party was only just beginning. Sin was in the air and nobody was immune.  
  
Nobody except Chloe Decker it seemed. The detective sat in a secluded booth away from the crowd, observing the dance floor as she waited for her friends to return. Even on this, her bachelorette party, it turned out she had to be the sensible one, the responsible adult who knew better than to leave drinks unattended in a nightclub.  
  
Still, she didn't mind too much. Revelry had never much suited her, and the last time she'd danced here... well, it wasn't exactly appropriate for her to be reliving _that_ memory right now.  
  
They weren't even supposed to be here. The plan for the evening had been kept secret from her of course, but she'd been clear about one thing. No Lux. Definitely no Lux. They'd started out with good intentions, beginning their celebrations on the opposite side of the city and partying their way from bar to bar.  
  
But as the hour grew late the lure of VIP entry and free drinks proved too much. For temptation was the very currency Lux traded in and the tribe were helpless to resist. Good intentions had paved the road here, and now Chloe was stuck in her own personal hell.  
  
It was Maze that had insisted they come. One last visit to the old hunting ground, she'd said. They'd tried to correct her, pointing out that the saying was actually stomping ground, but Maze had just given them a predatory smile before replying that stomping was something she'd never done here.  
  
Perhaps it was the return of the 'demon' bartender that had made the club feel so... different tonight. The atmosphere was charged, the dance floor a sea of twisting, writhing bodies that spilled out into every available space. Shadows normally kept at bay by warm fires and golden lights overhead had developed a life of their own, beckoning those willing into dark corners where dark deeds lay in store.

Still, at least _he_ wasn't here. Chloe couldn't help but feel relieved and disappointed over that, all at the same time. She was surprised at his absence though. It was a Saturday night after all and the club owner should have been in the centre of the chaos, the focus point of a vortex filled with lust and wanting, moving easily through the crowds as he enticed them to let go, just this once, for what could it hurt?  
  
She knew from experience that it could hurt quite a lot. It was possible that he had already headed upstairs with his chosen company for the evening, even if it was a little early for that. She tried to ignore the small pang of jealousy that ran through her at the thought. Too late for that now, for who he chose to spend his time with was none of her business, much like her pending union with Marcus was none of his.  
  
Marcus. It was him who should be on her mind. Not her... whatever he was. Whatever he had been. Not her ex, not her lover, for one kiss did not a relationship make. She knew that. And if one thing was certain, Lucifer didn't do relationships. As shocked as she had been at one time over his sudden marriage, she was equally unshocked when it only lasted two weeks. She still couldn't quite wrap her head around that one, and of course he'd never explained.  
  
She was doing it again. Thinking about the wrong man and messing with the ring on her finger for what felt like the hundredth time that evening. _Stop it Decker!_ She pulled her hand away with a frustrated sigh and glared at it angrily. Seriously, she felt like she was going to have to sit on the damn thing if it didn't start behaving soon.  
  
The ring was fine. More than fine. Yet she couldn't shake off the feeling that on her hand it felt _wrong_ somehow. They'd already taken it to a jeweller to be resized, Marcus being unwilling to return it to the original store for some unknown reason. _Maybe it fell off the back of a truck._ She smirked at the thought, her future husband being far too straight-laced for anything of the sort. No, they simply hadn't been together long enough for him to know her ring size yet. Never mind the fact she suspected the purchase had been made in somewhat of a rush.  
  
It all felt like too much of a rush sometimes. But she was happy, they were happy together, and that's all that mattered wasn't it? Sure, he had yet to develop any kind of real connection with her daughter, but she liked him well enough and the detective was convinced that he would completely win her over given time. Much like he had with her. Trixie was just in a difficult place at the moment, still dealing with what had happened between her and Maze, struggling with missing Lucifer. And if Chloe was honest with herself, she wasn't the only one.  
  
She'd barely seen him since they announced the engagement. His reaction had been... concerning. She'd fully expected to see that wide, bright smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, a shining shield to hide his feelings on the matter as he congratulated her. What she hadn't anticipated was the small nod and resigned look on his face as he turned and walked away without a word. _Almost like he already knew._  
  
Perhaps it was her own fault. She'd asked him to back off, tired of his constant opinions on her love life. What she hadn't meant was for him to stop talking to her altogether. Perhaps they were one and the same to him now.  
  
According to Dan he still came into the station, helping out on cases, assisting with interrogations, but never her cases, never when she was at her desk. The lieutenant spent more time out in the field with her than in his office these days, but no matter how much she appreciated his vast well of experience when it came to police work, it wasn't the same. She still felt the loss of her partner.  
  
It seemed she wasn't the only one he was actively avoiding either, Ella sadly noting that he rarely came into the lab anymore. It had taken Charlotte to point out that perhaps her enthusiasm over the hottest new couple in the department had been rather thoughtless in front of her stepson, and now the lab tec was wracked with guilt over the hurt she'd caused her friend.  
  
Closing her eyes, Chloe took a deep breath before making the decision to concentrate on what tonight was supposed to about, having fun. And that started with more booze. She picked up the glass in front of her, the pink umbrella reminding her of one of the first drinks she'd ever had here. _'He asked me to make you something you'd like. Did I get it wrong?'_ Annoyingly, she hadn't, despite her normal preference for whisky. A preference that had only grown stronger over the last couple of years, thanks to being introduced to top shelf bottles far beyond those her pay packet could reach.  
  
Still, this night was about celebrating her last days as a single woman and Ella had insisted that meant girly drinks and pink umbrellas. And apparently, it also meant trying her best to lose her engagement ring. Chloe stared wide-eyed at the diamond encrusted band on the table in front of her, so caught up in her own thoughts that she couldn't even recall taking it off. She couldn't even fathom how Marcus would react if she lost it. _Probably because you don't know him as well as you think you do._  
  
Shaking _that_ off, Chloe brought the ring closer, holding it up in front of her as it glittered in the strobing lights of the club.  
  
If she was honest, it wasn't what she would have chosen. After receiving something very similar from Dan, she'd imagined that if she were to walk down the aisle again that the ring would have been a little bit more, well, her. Perhaps that was why it had never felt quite right on her finger, despite her previously having worn a band there for many years. It wasn't that she was fussy, far from it, it was just that she had hoped for something that reflected who she was as a person. _Just like the ring on Lucifer's hand._  
  
She was letting her mind run away with her again. For all her disappointment it was still a lovely ring. Perfect, really. What most women would dream of. In fact that was true of their entire time together, a textbook courtship straight out of a romantic movie. _Including the short run time._ Flowers, chocolates, fancy dinners in expensive restaurants, he'd ticked all the boxes and she'd found herself swept up in it all. And yet she'd never quite been able shake the quiet voice in the back of her head, the one that said over and over... _too perfect._  
  
She was in love though. She was sure of it. How could she not be? And he loved her, he couldn't have made that clearer after he'd walked out on her that one time. She couldn't blame him for freaking out; even she still found herself panicking occasionally with how quickly everything had happened, never more so than after agreeing to marry him.  
  
It had been the right decision though. The lieutenant was strong, secure, dependable. Always there for her. All the things she so badly needed right now. Granted, he wasn't the most exciting guy in the world, but surely over the past couple of years she'd had enough excitement to last her a lifetime. A lifetime she would now be spending with him. _Bored out of her mind._  
  
No, that wasn't fair. They'd had their moments, and Marcus had brought out a side of her that she'd never seen before. Not necessarily always a good side, considering her completely inappropriate behaviour at work lately, but different nonetheless. Her face flushed with shame at the thought of it, of what could have happened if they'd been caught. It felt like hypocrisy of the highest level considering all of the reprimands she'd given Lucifer over the years, something she would certainly never be able to do again. If he ever even gave her the chance to that is.  
  
She had no complaints about the sex though. Her fiancé was quite obviously more experienced than she, and he had a way of convincing her to try things she would have never dreamed of doing in the past. The evidence closet being a good example of that. He was so willing to take risks that she couldn't help but wonder if he was hoping someone would walk in on them, and if that was indeed the case then she had a pretty good idea of who that someone was. It was almost as if this was his way of getting at Lucifer, staking his claim, marking his territory, making it clear that she was his now.  
  
But that wasn't her Marcus. It had, after all, been Lucifer who had treated her like a prize to be won in a competition, when there had really been no choice for her there at all. The man who called himself the devil was an eternal child, able to feel emotions but never quite able to deal with them. He just couldn't be the person she wanted him to be, no matter how many chances she gave him. For he was the partner who ran away when things became real, and Marcus was the man who came back.  
  
Besides, she told herself, she was lucky really. At her age, to meet someone so desperate to be with her, who could understand the pressures of her job and would likely be a good stepfather to Trixie? He was the whole package in so many ways. He'd even saved her life once, and how many times do you get to be with your own personal hero?  
  
_You had a hero before. One who saved your life a hell of a lot more._  
  
That was enough. She was supposed to be enjoying her last night out on the town, as it were, yet all she'd done since they got here was sit in a dark corner contemplating the two men in her life. And that was supposed to be over now wasn't it? She'd made her decision. Marcus was the man she was going to marry, and Lucifer... well, Lucifer would have to learn to live with that. Even if that meant she'd never see him again.

  
_Even if she still missed him terribly._


	2. Chapter 2

_Oh, no I never got over those blue eyes, I see them everywhere.  
I miss those arms that held me, when all the love was there._

  
Chloe threw back the rest of her cocktail, catching the eye of Ella as she stood up from the table. Smiling brightly, the bubbly forensic scientist practically bounced over to the bride-to-be, her face flushed from dancing. "Chloe COME ON!" she squealed, struggling to be heard over the pounding base line. "Come join us!"

Excitedly she grabbed the detective's arm, pulling her towards the dance floor. Chloe smiled at the enthusiasm of her friend, before shaking her empty glass at her. "I need a refill first!" she shouted, gesturing towards the bar. "Look after the drinks yeah?"

"More like down the drinks! WOO!" Chloe watched with amusement as Ella pumped her fist into the air and drained the rest of her bottle, before grabbing what she assumed was Charlotte's glass and heading back into the crowd. She could faintly hear her cry of "Decker's getting marrieeeeeeed!" as she did so, making her all the more glad she hadn't followed.

Reluctantly she took one last look at the booth, knowing she'd not likely get another chance to sit down again tonight. Already those tired of being on their feet were circling, a pack of wolves who were well aware that the club didn't provide many opportunities to catch your breath.

With a small sigh she gathered her things and headed towards some much needed alcohol, groaning internally when she saw the amount of people waiting there with the same intention. Luckily Patrick was on tonight, and when he caught sight of her blond hair through the masses he called her name and waved her to the side.

Ignoring the dirty looks aimed in her direction she edged her way around, relieved at not having to fight her way to the front. "What can I get for you, Ms. Decker, or should I say the future Mrs. Pierce?" he said with a congratulatory smile. Chloe felt a small pang across her chest at that, for "Mrs. Pierce" didn't sound quite right to her ears. _In fact, it felt as wrong as the ring did._ She wondered how the bartender even knew.

It was doubtful somehow that Lucifer was waxing lyrical about his personal life to staff, and as far as she was aware none of the ladies she was here with tonight had been anywhere near the bar with the exception of Maze. She knew where all the good stuff was hidden, after all. From what her ex-roommate had told her about Patrick they'd always preferred activities together that didn't exactly involve talking, so she couldn't see her mentioning it either.

"How did you...?"

She didn't even get to finish her sentence before he gestured at what she was wearing, shaking his head with a small laugh as he pointed out "It's not exactly subtle." Of course. The toilet paper wedding dress she'd been forced to wear earlier was long gone, but she'd completely forgotten about the goddamn awful sash Ella had insisted she put on.

Emblazoned with pink gemstones it announced her impending marriage to the world, with particular emphasis on who exactly she was marrying. Chloe was under the distinct impression that her friend had enjoyed putting this monstrosity together more than planning the entire bachelorette itself. It was another in a long list of reasons she was glad Lucifer wasn't here tonight. She saw no need to rub it in his face more than she already had.

With an embarrassed grimace she ordered her usual, watching with fascination as Patrick continued to juggle multiple drink orders one after the other. From the other end of the bar she heard someone shout, "Pat, do we have any of the Macallan?"

Briefly ducking out of sight he answered quickly, aware that patience was not among the virtues of those waiting tonight. "No, we're out!" came his hurried reply.

Chloe didn't recognise the other man querying about the rather expensive whisky, assuming him to be a new hire. He certainly didn't seem to know how things ran here yet anyway as he shot back, "Seriously?! That's the fifth time this week!" She watched with interest as Patrick immediately sat down the cocktail he was mixing, the easy smile and flirty expression dropping from his face in an instant.

"He owns this place, Sam. He can drink what he likes." There was a warning in that voice, an unheard instruction that Lucifer was not to be questioned. "Sam" shot an apologetic look their way and remained quiet as he returned to serving the masses, suitably chastised.

If she hadn't been listening to their conversation so intently she wouldn't have caught it, never mind picked up on the note of concern there as Patrick muttered to himself " _Unless of course he drinks us dry, that is."_

"And here I was thinking Lucifer had his own bar upstairs!" she jested, trying to lighten the solemn expression that had fallen over the young man.

For a moment she thought it had worked, Patrick flashing her a quick grin as he countered "Not anymore, judging by the state of our stores!"

But the smile failed to reach his eyes and the joke fell flat. As he started to pour another beer she reached out and gently held her hand over his, leaning forward so he could hear her speak quietly. "Is he ok?" she asked, worry filling her blue eyes.

He pulled back from her and shrugged. "I really don't know. He's not been the same lately."

Chloe nodded, for of course she understood why, better than the man in front of her ever would. He continued as he turned away to serve the next customer, "...Perhaps he just misses the music."

Confusion furrowed her brow as she started to ask him what he meant, only to be met with his back as he was whisked away to deal with yet another drink related crisis. How could he miss the music? This place was never without it. She didn't understand, so she moved onto the next item on her list, finding her supposed companions for the evening. Leaning back against the bar she slowly surveyed the area, trying to identify where they had gotten off to. At least that what she told herself, because she most definitely wasn't on the lookout for a certain club owner.

Charlotte and Ella were still in the midst of it all, the technician lost in her own world, the lawyer surrounded by men trying to get into hers. Maze and Linda were nowhere to be seen. Chloe hoped that they were off somewhere making amends. Maze's life had spiralled out of control after they'd stopped speaking to each other, and while rekindling their friendship wouldn't necessarily fix everything, it would at least be a start.

In the end it had been almost a relief when Maze moved out, especially when her self-destructiveness began to affect Trixie. She really was making an effort though lately, and if she could manage to resolve things with Linda then she was sure her daughter wouldn't be far behind. She had a lot to thank her for after all, because if it wasn't for Maze she might not even be here right now, celebrating her recent engagement. _Wearing this stupid sash._

Tugging at the plasticky material she was momentarily tempted to rip it off and put it in the trash where it belonged, but when she caught sight of Ella waving at her from the centre of the dance floor she couldn't bring herself to do it. It had been bad enough seeing the disappointment on her face just because of her refusal to wear a pink wig, never mind this.

She raised her glass and smiled to herself as she watched the pair move together. At first she'd thought it an odd coupling, but while the world's greatest forensic scientist was considerably the friendlier of the two, Charlotte genuinely seemed to hold the young woman in high regard. Their recent friendship had been growing strong by the day.

As for her, she'd found herself warming more and more to the defense attorney, at least until today that is. Whether it was because of her own divorce, or as his stepmother she was looking out for Lucifer in some strange way she didn't know, but she couldn't help feeling that the older woman had spent most of the evening trying to talk her out of the idea of marriage. Which was the last thing she needed. _Not when she already had enough doubts of her own._

Before she could even start to think about what on earth _that_ was supposed to mean, the world around Chloe ground to a halt as the reason for exactly why Lux felt so different tonight suddenly hit her. She was looking at her friends dancing in the centre of the club. The centre. _Where they shouldn't have been able to dance._

"Patrick." She felt, rather than saw the bartender appear behind her. It was somewhat reassuring to know that even with everything that had happened lately, she was still very much on the "serve first at all costs" list at Lux. What she wanted though was information, not alcohol.

"Where is the piano?"

"Ah." A troubled look passed over the bartender's face as he ran his fingers through his hair, carefully considering his reply. A sense of dread began to settle in her stomach. "Boss had it put into storage. Bad for business."

" _What?"_ Chloe breathed. That couldn't be right. People came here _because_ of Lucifer, they weren't driven away by him. She'd seen it for herself as she watched him play, surrounded on all sides by men and women who would gaze at him with awe as they imagined what those long nimble fingers could do for them, if only he'd say yes.

Patrick slid a shot glass towards her, sympathetic in her confusion. "It started a few weeks ago. The set list changed, the customers stopped coming. These lot," he waved a hand in front of him, "they come here for a good time, not to hear song after song about lost love." She felt the blood in her veins turn to ice at that, the rest of the conversation blurring into the background.

She knew. She knew how this was affecting him and yet she still hadn't had a clue just how much he was hurting. He loved that piano, lived for the times he would play and the club would fall silent under his spell. For a man without any kind of grip on his emotions, he'd been able to pour them into his music like nobody else she'd ever heard. And now he'd given that up. It was unsurprising really that he'd chosen to drown himself in amber liquid to numb the pain instead.

Guilt gnawed at her soul. Why had nobody told her? How long had this been going on? She'd barely seen him lately, but surely somebody else should have noticed. Her partner had been suffering, because of her, and she'd all but ignored him. What kind of friend was she? _What kind of person?_

The sound of someone clearing their throat brought her back to herself and she realised that she hadn't said anything for several minutes. "Is he in tonight?" The question left her lips before she could even think about it, all notions of avoiding him long gone.

"I don't think so," he replied. "Pretty sure he took off as soon as you ladies rocked up."

Chloe nodded at that and pushed herself away from the bar. She needed some fresh air, some space to think.

 _No_.

What she needed was to talk to someone who knew what was going on, someone who could help her make sense of it all. Maze was no good, she and Lucifer had been on the outs lately for some unknown reason and she wasn't exactly much help with things like this. Charlotte was likely too protective of him to divulge anything, and besides, she'd rather not risk starting up another conversation about divorce statistics right now.  
  
That left her with one choice, a long shot at best. It would be difficult, but the doctor had been known to let her ethics slide in the past, and she'd certainly had enough to drink tonight to help things along a little. It was an invasion of privacy, that she was sure of, but she had to do something, and Lucifer wasn't going to be talking to her any time soon. Which gave her no other option.

Linda. She had to talk to Linda.


	3. Chapter 3

_I wonder if she's sorry, for leavin' what we'd begun.  
There's someone for me somewhere, and I still miss someone._

  
Chloe made her way through the club with single-minded determination, intent on tracking down a person of interest vastly different than the kind she was used to dealing with.

Although she had been left more than a little inebriated earlier in the evening thanks to the party bus that had shuttled them around the city, their arrival at Lux and her conversation with Patrick had proved quite sobering indeed.  All of her worries about the wedding were forgotten as she focused on the task at hand.

Locate Linda. Get her to talk. Find out what the hell is going on with Lucifer.

This wasn't working though. She could barely tell one person apart from the other in the pulsing darkness. It would be impossible to find her friends from her position here amongst the masses. Slowly she pushed her way through the crowd, casting a longing look towards the elevator as she ascended the stairs. It was pointless to go up if he wasn't there she knew, but the desire to check on him remained anyway.

As she'd seen Lucifer do so many times before, she stood on the balcony overlooking the horde below. Carefully she examined the room, searching for that telltale flash of blonde hair. Nothing. She was beginning to worry that the pair weren't even in the building anymore.

_Wait a minute._

Her eyes narrowed as she concentrated on the area surrounding the side of the bar, across from where she'd previously been sitting. _There_. The drapes that adorned every wall in Lux parted for a split second as someone slipped through into whatever lay behind.

She'd always suspected there was more to the nightclub than meets the eye. A business that specialised in shady deals with shady people wasn't likely to favour conducting those arrangements out in the open. But no matter her curiosity, professional or otherwise, she'd always tried to turn a blind eye where possible. Out of sight, out of mind as they say.

As the relationship with her consultant had grown stronger, so had her willingness to overlook what might be going on inside his establishment. She didn't want to get him into trouble. Not only would it reflect badly on her, but when it came down to it she truly believed her partner would avoid getting involved in anything that would damage her career or the reputation of the department. And that was all she needed to know. When it came to Lucifer, sometimes ignorance was bliss.

It was time however, to peek behind the curtain. Quite literally it seemed.

As she stepped through the doorway of plush velvet into the chamber beyond, she could have sworn for a second that she'd just walked into the penthouse. Intricate stone carvings lined the walls, and the warm glow of candlelight illuminated several archway capped alcoves, each with their own coverings for privacy. The pounding baseline from the club penetrated the space, but not so much as the murmured sound of conversation couldn't be heard from within the areas already hidden from view.

Slowly she made her way around the room, pausing to listen as she tried to identify the occupants inside. It would make sense for Maze to bring Linda here. Quiet enough to talk and be heard, but close enough to the action as they could slip away unnoticed. She just hoped that talking was all they were doing, considering the state of their friendship lately. It was conveniently private in here after all.

The sound of a chair being forcefully pushed back across the floor saw Chloe diving behind the nearest curtain, a space that was thankfully unoccupied. She needed to be discreet, for although she might be well known inside the club itself she had very little idea if she was welcome here. It wasn't as if the owner was around to vouch for her.

Now she was inside, the voices from the neighbouring compartment became clearer, more recognisable. It was then she began to wonder how exactly to handle this. Should she wait for them to finish their conversation? She didn't want to disturb the two of them if they were finally hashing things out, but it didn't alter the fact she was desperate to talk to Linda. She wasn't sure it was wise to have Maze there for that.

It was overhearing her partner's name that did it. She crept closer to the wall, only to discover that it wasn't a wall at all but rather a simple veil to help separate the space, the material soft against her cheek. Moving to the back corner, she delicately edged the divider back, maneuvering into a position that would allow her to observe without being seen. 

She watched as Linda reached out and caught the arm of her friend as she went to walk away. "Mazikeen, wait. We need to talk about this!"

Maze shook her off and span around, slamming both of her hands onto the table, towering over the therapist. "And just _what_ is there left to talk about? Please do tell me, I'm just _dying_ to know."

The doctor stared up at her, refusing to be intimidated. "What this 'plan' of yours is for starters. Why on earth you're acting this way, and how it's affecting a man I _know_ you still care about."

It was then that Chloe realised. It wasn't her that was here to talk to Linda. It was Linda who was here to talk about _Lucifer_.

Maze's laughter was vicious, slicing through the air like a knife. "Care? _Care_?! The only thing I care about _dear doctor_ is getting what I want. What I _deserve_."

"And just what is that?"

The detective was impressed with how the blonde was holding her nerve. Earlier she'd been three sheets to the wind, but it seemed Chloe wasn't the only one who'd been forced to sober up quickly tonight. Maze could be threatening at the best of times but it appeared her friend was more than equipped to handle her.

"To go back. Finally."

Maze fell back down into her chair and stared at the table. When she spoke it was deceptively soft. "Did I ever tell you I saved Amenadiel's life? I gave up what I thought was my only chance at going home to do it. I helped save your life as well, do you remember?"

She lifted her head and looked Linda straight in the eye. "And yet _both_ of you still betrayed me."

"Maze, I'm so sorry." Linda moved as if to comfort her but the bounty hunter quickly pulled away. She shook her head.

"Sorry? You don't _get_ to be sorry. It means _nothing_ to me. Eons spent torturing souls in hell, and what do you think they all said as they begged? _Sorry, sorry, I'm so sorry!_ " she said mockingly.

"These human _emotions_ , they're all born out of pain. Not the pain they caused others though, oh no. The pain they feel from their own _guilt._ Guilt drives them down, and guilt makes them stay."

She laughed, and it was slightly manic. "And you know what the funny thing is? All they needed to do was not cause that pain in the first place. They knew what they were doing was wrong, yet they did it anyway. Just like you Linda." Her voice broke at that, and Chloe barely caught what she said next as she whispered.

" _Even though I asked you not to._ "

And then she returned to normal as she tilted her head to the side and smiled. "I wonder what's waiting for you down there?" Linda visibly blanched at that. Which was odd, because Chloe wouldn't have taken her for a believer.

The therapist gathered herself. "So that's the plan then, to get Lucifer to take you back to hell?" Maze gave a single nod as confirmation.

 _That_ was even more interesting. She was aware that during their sessions Linda talked to Lucifer in metaphors, which made sense considering that was how Lucifer himself spoke half the time. "Working within his narrative," she'd called it one night at the bar after a few too many. She hadn't known that Linda used the same technique with Maze, however, outside of the office. _How common was it exactly anyway, to have two people with the exact same delusion?_

Now wasn't the time to think about that though. She focused her attention back onto the pair in front of her as Linda carried on, "Can't you just, I don't know, ask him?"

Chloe could almost hear Maze's eyes roll. "Don't you think I tried that already? It's not worth the risk to his precious _detective._ " She spat Chloe's title like it was a bad taste in her mouth.

Her face dropped as she continued, "...I'm not worth the risk."

"You know how he feels about her," Linda reasoned.

Now this was starting to get interesting. Chloe listened carefully, fighting the temptation to move closer, hopeful that the doctor would elaborate.

"Oh, because it's all about how _he_ feels, isn't it? What _he_ wants, what _he_ needs. What about what _I_ want, what _I_ need? He never puts me first. Never. Millennia stood by his side, and all he cares about is _her_."

Chloe felt a pang of guilt as she looked at her friend. She had never seen the former bartender look so defeated, and she couldn't help but feel strangely responsible for that somehow.

"That _stupid_ human doesn't even know half the things he's done to protect her! What he's sacrificed _for_ her!"

 _What was that supposed to mean?_ Obviously Lucifer had saved her life; if it wasn't for him she and her daughter would be dead right now. She knew he'd made sacrifices too, spending more time with her on cases than at the club these days, taking him further away from his chosen life of debauchery. But there was... more? Things she wasn't aware of?

"I know, Maze, I was there for some of it, remember. It's hard to forget the first time you help kill someone."

Chloe's mind stuttered to a halt. The only thing she could focus on was the sound of her own heartbeat thudding in her ears as she struggled to comprehend what she'd just heard. Of all the things she could have possibly anticipated overhearing... Dr. Martin confessing to homicide certainly wasn't one of them. She helped kill someone... with Maze... and _Lucifer_? To protect _her_? From who? From what? Her head was spinning, and she felt like she was seconds away from hyperventilating.

 _Calm down, Chloe._ She forced herself to take one deep breath. Then another. There had to be an explanation. There just had to be. She couldn't imagine Linda _murdering_ someone. Maze, well... but Lucifer too? She thought she knew him!

Gradually she came back to herself, her hands reaching for her gun and badge out of instinct, despite not even having them there.  _Woah, hold on a second._ This wasn't a stake out, and she certainly wasn't about to arrest anyone. She just needed to hear the full story first, that was all.

One more breath saw her forcing her attention back to what was happening. Apparently, Maze had yet to stop ranting. "...ain, Chloe... seems he's willing to go back to hell for anyone except me. So I'll _make_ him go back."

"And how do you plan to do that?" Linda queried. There was an air of clinical detachment in her words, something Chloe recognised from the few times they'd been required to involve a psychiatrist down at the station. Whether she realised it or not, Mazikeen Smith was now in a therapy session.

"Easy. All I have to do is take away the one thing that keeps him here." Maze had gotten up from her seat again, stalking back and forth across the small space like a caged animal.

"Chloe." Linda nodded, mind focused on her "client" as her fingers reflexively tapped an imaginary pen against an invisible notepad.

"It's simple enough. Make sure she walks down that aisle."

Maze had drawn her blades from seemingly nowhere, each one rotating around on a finger as their owner paced, her body practically vibrating with unspent energy.

Linda followed her movements around the room as she persevered with her line of questioning. "So you're playing cupid? Pushing her towards Pierce?"

"Or keeping her away from Lucifer. However you want to look at it."

Chloe felt sick. She'd thought things with Maze were getting better lately. She'd been there when she needed her, easy to talk to and so supportive of her new relationship... of course it was a lie. She should have known better.

Linda ceased her endless tapping as concern marred her features. "Are you  _torturing_ him?"

Maze paused briefly before throwing her arms up into the air in pantomimed celebration. "Halle-frickin-lujah! Now she's getting it!"

"Torturing the devil himself though. That's... bold." The therapist appeared to consider something for a moment, tipping her head to the side as she asked, "So why not just kill Chloe?"

 _Well damn._ The detective's eyes widened in shock. Maybe she should re-consider her opinion when it came to the doctor and murder after all.

Linda pushed forward with her agenda. "You want to take her away from Lucifer don't you? Wouldn't killing her do that?"

Maze halted, and for the first time she looked conflicted.

"It's because of Trixie isn't it? I know you regret hurting her."

That must have been a step too far, because Chloe blinked and suddenly there was a blade pressed against Linda's throat. "I don't regret _anything_."

Before the detective even had a chance to think about doing anything though the bounty hunter stepped back, her blade spinning away with her. Linda slowly exhaled the breath she'd been holding, burying the flash of terror that had crossed her face down deep.

Maze didn't appear to notice. "Look, it's done, okay? There's no going back now. He gets what he wants, I get what I want. That's the plan, and I'm sticking to it no matter what."

Chloe frowned. There was someone else involved in all of this? Who exactly? She didn't know anyone who would want to hurt Lucifer in that way. An old associate maybe? A deal gone wrong? His father? The latter seemed more likely, given what little history she knew of between them.

His brother had once talked about their rough childhood, but those scars... that was more than just rough. Lucifer claimed they were Maze's handiwork, that he'd asked her to do it, and yet he'd still said his father was responsible. Could they be working together? Would she sink so low as to do that to him?  

She'd expected the doctor to ask Maze to elaborate, to make it clearer who the other party in the equation was. But to her surprise, it seemed she already knew. "Ah. So you're working for him now? How is that any different from when you worked for Lucifer?"

Chloe had to give it to her, Linda was brave. It was like a switch had flipped in Maze, rage taking over she buried her blade in the table top. “I don't work for anyone, _not_ anymore," she snarled, forcing the words through gritted teeth.

Linda didn't even blink. "So what makes you so sure he'll go back to hell?" she asked, quite conversationally. Maze looked taken back, confused by the abrupt change in topic. The question had the desired effect though and her anger turned to laughter.

"You're kidding, right? As soon as the next ring goes on her finger he'll have no choice but to leave."

Chloe looked down at her hand, at the ring that had felt so wrong earlier, that still felt wrong even now. Despite everything, all the wedding planning, the bachelorette party, picking honeymoon destinations... she had yet to imagine another ring sat next to this one. Somehow, she couldn't quite picture it.

Linda kept up her tone of casual curiosity. Nothing to see here, just a friendly chat between a woman who think she's a demon and a therapist acting like she might just believe her. "Why would he choose hell, though? Couldn't he just... move?"

"Trust me, dear doctor. Going home is nothing compared to the hell of staying here on earth knowing the woman you love is with someone else."

And there it was. The confirmation she'd been waiting for all this time. That it came from Maze was perhaps unexpected, but then again at this point it was apparent that literally anyone was more likely to share his feelings than Lucifer was.

Subconsciously she wrapped her hand around the necklace inside her pocket, the token she'd no longer been able to wear but remained reluctant to fail to keep close. As she held it she felt a warmth inside that spread throughout her body and settled around her heart.

He loved her. _Because of course he loved her._

"Lucifer is your friend, Maze. Don't you care even a little about how all this is making him feel?" The sound of Linda's voice made Chloe reluctantly pull away from her thoughts and back to situation at hand.

"He hasn't been my friend for a _very_ long time. Why should I care about him when he doesn't care about me? The only thing he truly cares about is himself. Even she comes second to that."

Maze began to pace again, her patience obviously wearing thin. "And as for how he _feels_? Who do you think _made_ him feel that way? This plan was all mine, and he knows it. That I get to see how losing her has left him is just the cherry on top of the cake."

"And how has it left him?" The curiousness was gone from Linda's voice now and Chloe suspected it was because she already knew the answer, she just wanted to hear her say it.

"Devastated." Maze turned to face the back of the room as she answered and for a moment Chloe could have sworn she was staring straight at her. Her grin was almost inhuman, all teeth and venom. She was enjoying this, relishing in the pain she was causing Lucifer.

Chloe's heart ached for him, at the thought of what he'd been going through. At what _she'd_ helped put him through, whether she knew about it or not.

Linda had gone silent, her face deep in concentration. Maze appeared to take this as the end of their conversation. "I'm afraid that's all we have time for this week doc. I've got a bride-to-be to watch over after all, can't have her changing her mind!"

She was turning on her heels to go when Linda finally spoke. "Maze?"

The bounty hunter looked back at her.

"Your plan sucks."

Abandoning her intention to leave, Maze stormed over and for the first time Linda stood up to meet her, unwilling to back down even as she growled her reply. " _What did you say?_ "

The doctor was resolute. "Explain to me again exactly _why_ Lucifer is going to take you back home. You're taking away the thing he holds most dear in all the world. And you think _what_? That afterwards he's just going to give you what you want? He's the king of _hell._ Maze. Someone whose entire identity is built around punishing those who deserve it. You say that being stuck here on earth is like torture. What's stopping him from just leaving you here? What guarantees, in this whole grand plan of yours that he'll actually take you with him?"

Linda stepped even closer, looking up at her friend without a shred of fear in her eyes.

"The question you need to ask yourself is... what _do_ you deserve?"

Maze had stilled, the colour completely drained from her face. It was obvious the thought hadn't even occurred to her, that there would ever be a circumstance where Lucifer would leave her behind, no matter what she said or did.  She swallowed nervously before answering.

"Enough. It will work. It has to work." She swept the curtain back and this time Linda followed.

"This isn't going to end well for you, Maze. I beg you, stop now while you still can."

The bounty hunter didn't look back, didn't even stop for a second. Chloe could no longer see her, but as she walked away she could still hear her laughter as she mocked the one person left trying to help her. "Same time next week, yeah?"

Chloe used the opportunity while Linda was distracted to move from where she'd been crouched, stretching as she did so. As she crept out of her hiding place she was relieved to see that the chamber was now empty, the previous occupants having presumably concluded their business and moved on to seek out the other delights Lux had to offer.

The room she had been surveilling had remained unveiled after Maze departed, and she could see Linda sat back at the table with her head in her hands, lost in her own thoughts. She entered quietly, pulling up a chair beside her. The movement startled the therapist out of her introspection and she looked up at her in shock. Chloe almost could see the wheels turning behind her eyes as she wondered how long the detective had been there, how much she had heard.

Chloe herself had a million questions, but she knew exactly where to start. For only one thing was important right now.

"He loves me?"


	4. Chapter 4

_At my door the leaves are falling, a cold wild wind will come._ _  
_ _Sweethearts walk by together, and I still miss someone._

 

"You know I can't talk about that." Linda's face had quickly hardened following her initial shock.

The detective knew her friend well. Apart from the occasional slip during an evening spent drinking with the tribe, she was unwavering when it came to defending the privacy of her clients. Lucifer especially. Despite the many drunken questions thrown at her during their nights out on the town, especially from an endlessly curious Ella, she had never revealed anything he'd said to her in confidence. And as tempting as it was to take the opportunity to learn more about her partner, Chloe herself had always resisted. If Lucifer wanted to open up to her he would, that was the way she'd always looked at it.

But not tonight. It had become clear that he was never going to tell her everything she needed to know, and she had finally reached the point where she _needed_ to know. After what she'd just heard it seemed there was a choice for her to make after all, whereas before there had been none. It was an irrational way to feel, considering she was less than a month away from getting married, but how could she walk down the aisle when part of her longed for another man?

For that warm sensation in her chest remained and it wasn't thoughts of her fiancé that had put it there.

Chloe sighed. She really didn't want to have to do this, but Linda was giving her no other option. "You can either talk to me here or down at the station, it's up to you."

The therapist looked confused. "Why would I..." She paused as realisation dawned. “Oh."

"Yeah. Oh. I'm your friend, Linda, but I'm also a cop. A cop who just heard you confess to being involved in a homicide. By rights I should have you in handcuffs already.”

"I -" Chloe raised her hand, cutting the doctor off with a shake of her head. "I don't want to hear it. Not now at least. I’ve already told you what I want to know."

Linda was visibly torn, a battle waging within her as she tried to decide what to do. Her shoulders slumped. "I’m sorry, I can’t."

Chloe couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Linda had been her last hope of straightening out this mess before it was too late. Still, as hard as it was, she had to proceed as she would in any other situation. Standing, she nodded once. "Fine. The station it is then."

But the doctor remained seated, staring at the table. Chloe slowly lowered herself back into her seat, waiting for her to speak. "I suppose… we could talk," Linda said quietly. Chloe tried to hide the flicker of excitement she felt at that. "But I'm not telling you anything Lucifer has discussed in our sessions," Linda continued, her voice growing stronger with conviction. "It's my duty as both his therapist and his friend."

To her surprise, Chloe found that she didn't actually want her to. Lucifer was her partner, and despite what she may have decided earlier, she didn't want to invade his privacy. Too much. She just wanted Linda to enlighten her on a few things that was all, to help her understand exactly what she'd just witnessed. "But you can give me your personal opinion though." She'd interviewed enough psychiatrists to know that.

Linda's eyes snapped up to meet hers, as if she'd forgotten Chloe had experience in this area. "To an extent," was her reply. "I'll try to answer as much as I'm able."

That was good enough for her. "So, back to my original question."

She watched as the doctor removed her glasses, cleaning them as she considered her answer. "I wouldn't say he thinks he’s in love with you, no."

Chloe felt her heart sink. Was all this for nothing after all? If he didn't love her by now, then there was no chance for them. Perhaps there never was.

_Wait._

Wasn't it just earlier she was thinking about how Lucifer was unable to handle his emotions?

"But do _you_ think he is?"

Linda looked at her warily before replying, choosing her words carefully. "Humans, we experience emotion early. As children we encounter them for the first time, as adolescents we learn how to handle them. Now imagine if, for whatever reason, that never happened. That as a fully grown adult, you are suddenly introduced to an entire range of unfamiliar emotions. Sure, you may already know hate, anger, desire. You might have even had moments of joy on occasion. But love? Love is new. Love is terrifying. It's confusing, overwhelming. How do you cope with all of that?"

Chloe smiled wryly at her as she tried to take it all in. "You see a therapist?"  
Linda returned the smile. "Exactly."

"So what you're saying is, Lucifer is essentially a child?" she ventured, still attempting to wrap her head around what the therapist was getting at.

"In some ways, yes. In others, he is older than you or I could possibly imagine."

She understood what the doctor meant. There had been times, especially on harrowing cases, when the gleeful mask her partner wore would fall, and she would catch sight of his eyes. Those deep brown eyes that would suddenly seem impossibly ancient, filled with the horrors of his past that he kept so carefully hidden from her. Then as quickly as it came, the moment would be gone. His trademark grin would return, often with a completely inappropriate joke to follow.

Sometimes though, when it was particularly bad, he would turn away. She would approach him from behind, a hand on his shoulder, and ask if he was alright. “Of course Detective,” he would assure her, but if she examined his face carefully enough she could see the tiredness there, as if all the ills of mankind weighed upon him. For as much as he knew that every crime scene broke her heart, she knew that somewhere inside, it broke him too.

She decided to press on. It hadn't escaped her attention that the doctor had yet to actually give her a straight answer. "And when it comes to love? When it comes to me?"

Linda glanced down at the engagement ring on Chloe's hand, before looking at her in sympathy.

"I think Lucifer has loved you for longer than he'll ever know."

The warmth that had gathered around her heart burned until she could feel it in her very bones. The feelings she had for Lucifer, the ones she had tried so very hard to bury under her love for Marcus, flared to life once more, making the latter pale in comparison. It felt as if this love was a part of her very soul, a brand that had no intention of ever fading. She wasn't sure she wanted it to.

And just like that, this was something she no longer wanted to talk to Linda about. It was Lucifer she needed to speak to. He was the only one who could tell her what she needed to hear, if he could even manage to say it at all. For how do you admit that you love someone if you don’t even know it yourself? Still, she had to at least try, she owed herself that much. Owed it to both of them really.

After sitting in silence for several minutes, Chloe turned her attention back to her friend. Linda was watching her with a knowing look on her face as she waited for the detective to ask further questions. Her expression changed to one of surprise though, when she opted to change the subject instead.

“Why is Maze doing this to him?”

The doctor smiled again briefly, obviously pleased at her decision to move forward in her line of questioning. Then she countered. “Why do you think she’s doing this?”

She already knew part of the answer to that. “She wants to go home.” Linda nodded. “And for some reason she thinks I’m the reason that she can’t.”

The therapist stayed silent, so she carried on. “But I don’t understand why. She says Lucifer won’t take her, but why does she need him to? Maze has never needed anyone in order to do something before. She doesn’t rely on anybody. And then there’s the whole him taking her home somehow puts me at risk thing. None of it makes any sense.”

She’d been thinking about this since the winery, since the first time Maze had talked about going home. There wasn’t anywhere in Britain called hell, it was one of the first things she’d checked back when she started investigating the man claiming to be the devil. Plenty of places were referred to as hellish, but neither he nor Maze spoke of home as if hell was just what it felt like to live there. No, they referred to it as if it were any other town or city, or in Lucifer’s case, a kingdom.

Her other suspicion had been that hell was an organisation of some sort. Whether they’d both been members, or considering how Lucifer would act sometimes, leaders, she was unsure. There were references to a ‘hellfire club’ having existed at one point in England but that was centuries ago. These things did have a way of going underground though. The way he spoke about his past… it would fit that he’d been involved in something he was now ashamed of. And just as fitting perhaps that Maze would want to return to that life, and that she would need him in order to do so.

“Chloe, I don’t have an answer for that you’ll accept.” The sound of Linda’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts and back to the topic at hand. She was beginning to worry about the doctor. The more she considered how she’d spoken to Maze, how she was speaking to her now, the more it appeared Lucifer had somehow managed to drag her into his delusions. There was humouring him, and then there was making the problem worse. After all, he’d been seeing her all this time and while Chloe couldn’t deny that he’d grown as a person thanks to her counsel, he still stood firm when it came to the issue of his identity. Part of her suspected that wasn’t even something they were working on together.

Then again, perhaps Linda hadn’t been the only one exacerbating the situation. Over time, she’d found herself just ignoring it. He’d refer to himself as the devil and she would laugh, roll her eyes, or gloss over what he’d just said completely. They were partners, they got results, and to her that was all that mattered. She had accepted him for who he was, and that included who he thought he was. But perhaps she’d been wrong. Perhaps she should have been encouraging him to seek further help all along, especially if his doctor could no longer remain objective.

Even Trixie believed he was telling the truth, which was an issue she had yet to deal with. Her daughter had loved Lucifer from the moment she met him, much to his horror, but after the warehouse… well she was convinced, and there was no dissuading her. Chloe had reasoned it was natural, that after saving both of their lives of course she would accept that he had superpowers of some kind. But whenever she brought the subject up Trixie would just look at her mother like she was an idiot, before reminding her, once again, that Lucifer didn’t lie.

This was crazy. Maybe she was crazy. She was seriously considering a relationship with a man who claimed he was the _literal_ devil, after all. And if Linda believed him, well, didn’t that make her crazy too? Should she even be trusting anything the therapist was telling her right now? The thing was though, she didn’t seem any different from normal. Apart from casually talking about humans and their emotions that is, as if as far as she was concerned, Lucifer _wasn’t_ one.

But she loved him. She’d loved him for so long. He was her best friend, her partner, her everything. And all of that had happened despite his belief that he was the devil. So did anything really need to change? If he never realised the truth about himself, would it actually make a difference to the way she felt about him?

Finally she accepted Linda’s reply, nodding reluctantly. She had already decided what she wanted to talk about next though. “You know who Maze is working with, don’t you?” It wasn’t really a question, for she knew the answer.

Linda tapped her fingernails against the table a couple of times, looking stressed. “I do. But I can’t tell you that either.” Chloe went to speak, but the doctor interrupted her. “Believe me, I wish I could.” She paused. “I _really_ wish I could.” Closing her eyes, she exhaled slowly before continuing. “What I can do though, is promise that I will encourage Lucifer to tell you.” A strange, almost guilty expression crossed her face. “And if I’m honest with myself, I should have done that months ago.” It was then, for just a second, it appeared as if her eyes flickered to the ring on Chloe’s hand again. It happened so fast that the detective thought she must have imagined it.

She had no time to think on it further though, because apparently it was Linda’s turn to speak her mind. She watched the therapist swallow nervously before she spoke, her hands wringing together on the table. “We need to talk about what you heard earlier.”

The doctor wasn’t the only one who was nervous. The side of Chloe that was dedicated to her work insisted on learning the truth, but these were her friends she was talking about. Her friends, and possibly someone more than that. “Do I want to know?” she blurted out, before she had time to change her mind.

Linda smiled at her, and it was a smile of relief. “Yes. Yes you do. Chloe, nobody is dead.”

“But…” Chloe felt herself frown as she recalled Linda’s words from earlier. “You said you helped…”

“And I did help. I did exactly that. I helped a friend, and because of that, nobody got hurt. Trust me. And if you can’t, then ask Lucifer. He'd never lie to you.”

Her head was beginning to spin. As vague as Linda had been, this still felt like too much information to try to absorb in too little time, and she was struggling to comprehend it all. Oddly for the therapist though, she didn’t seem to notice Chloe’s distress as she chuckled.

“Unless he’s lying to himself of course.”  
  
Suddenly so many things became clear. All those times he’d acted as if he didn’t want them to be together, all the times he’d lied to her about his feelings, about their relationship, they all made sense. Because he was making himself believe something that simply wasn’t true.

_That’s exactly what we are. Just friends._

Her heart was thudding. If she could get through to him on this… make him see that he’d been fooling himself… then maybe, just maybe they could get somewhere. Together.

She needed to find him.

“I have to go.”

She stood up from the table hurriedly, but before she left the room completely she turned, seeking advice from her friend one last time. “He's told you the truth about himself, hasn't he? I've asked and asked, but he never opens up. How did you get him to do that?”

Linda looked at her, and in her eyes she could see that same steely determination she’d witnessed earlier.

“I didn't ask, Chloe. I demanded.”


	5. Chapter 5

_When sorrow holds you in her arms of clay, it's rain drops that fall from your eyes._  
_Your smile's like the sun come to earth for a day, you brighten my blackest of skies._

 

Entering into the club again was like slipping into a completely different world. The music assaulted her senses, no longer enjoyable now that her head was consumed by thoughts of the knowledge she’d just attained. The chamber had been cooler, but out here the warmth generated by bodies entwining on the dance floor radiated into the air, stifling in its intensity.

The sash Ella had forced her into was starting to drive her mad, the scratchy material sticking to her skin in the heat. Looking down, the words _‘Mrs Pierce to be’_ jumped out at her, and suddenly she just couldn’t stand wearing it anymore. Pulling the damn thing off with more force than was probably necessary, she let it drift to the floor.

Time to focus on finding Lucifer. She reached for her phone, only to find it gone. No bag, no wallet, no phone, nothing. Well that was a great start, she must have left it at the bar earlier. Taking a quick look in that direction, she failed to spot Patrick behind the sea of people waiting to be served. Hopefully her things had been stashed somewhere, but there was no way she was forcing her way through that queue to find out.

After checking the time, she wondered whether Lucifer had retreated to his penthouse yet. Going up there in the early hours was always a risk, never knowing what she might walk into, but it might be the only way she got to talk to him tonight. And she needed to talk to him tonight.

No sooner had she taken a step in the direction of the elevator though than she found herself ducking behind a group of people nearby. For on the balcony, in the exact same place she’d been earlier, was Maze, surveying the floor below her. Her ex-roommate was the last person Chloe wanted to see at the moment. Not only had she not even begun to deal with her feelings over her betrayal, there was no way she’d be able to contain her fury over what Maze had been doing to Lucifer.

That counted the penthouse out, which meant she had no idea where to begin. Granted, she knew a few of his favourite haunts from the early days of their partnership, but that could have her traipsing about the city until morning, which was already pretty impossible with no phone and no money. Especially when the likelihood of actually finding him at any of them was so low. The fact of the matter was, until very recently he chose to spend the majority of his time either with her or at Lux, with very little else in between.

The best course of action, she decided, was just to get out of here. Spotting a fire exit not too far away, she discreetly made her way through the crowd, slipping through the door unnoticed. Once outside, she leaned back against the wall of the club, the cool night air a welcome relief. This evening had certainly not turned out the way she'd expected. She was supposed to be celebrating a new chapter in her life, a grand love story that had swept away her inhibitions and allowed her to become a new person.

She’d come to realise, however, that becoming a new person did not necessarily mean becoming a better person. The past few hours had made her look at her actions over the recent few weeks with fresh eyes. She had hurt her partner, made plans to give her daughter a step-father who she didn’t even really know yet, and now she was probably going to end up breaking the heart of her fiancé as well.

Because rather than looking forward, she was going backwards. She'd once said that was no good for anyone, but maybe, just maybe, this time it could be different. There was no way she should marry Marcus feeling like this, should she? It wasn't fair to him, or to herself. She loved him, or at least she'd convinced herself that she did, but compared to Lucifer? Compared to the man she was fairly certain had somehow become the love of her life, despite them only having ever shared one kiss? He had slowly earned his place in her heart and despite what she thought she may have wanted, he wasn’t leaving anytime soon. For Marcus was the man who gave her roses, but Lucifer was the one to give her a prom.

A noise from further on down the alley broke her out of her reverie. Turning to face the direction of the sound, there was nothing to be seen, the light from the street barely reaching her down here. She suddenly became painfully aware that she was a woman, alone in the darkness, stood outside a club in the early hours of the morning. Even with her training she should probably still feel scared, or at least nervous, but she didn't. Instead she felt completely safe, protected even, almost as if...

"You can come out now, Lucifer."

A cigarette briefly flared to life in the darkness before being thrown to the ground and stubbed out underfoot. Slowly a familiar figure began to emerge from the shadows. "Detective!" he exclaimed exuberantly. She couldn't help it; her heart skipped a beat. He hadn't sounded so pleased to see her in weeks. Maybe they were back on track after all? The thought filled her with hope. Like always, he walked towards her as if drawn by a magnet, the grin wide upon his face, a sparkle in his eyes that seemed to be reserved only for her. She smiled back at him in return, relieved at his delight.

Until he stumbled, that is. Almost immediately her relief turned to concern as she took in his dishevelled state. His hair unkempt and beginning to curl, shirt half open, waistcoat unbuttoned as it hung loosely around him. She couldn't remember when she'd last seen him without his usual grace. He slumped against the side of the club, regaining his balance as he took a rather large swig from the whisky bottle he was holding. Without even meaning to, her voice slipped into 'Mom' mode. "Lucifer, how many have you had?"

"Only two!" he replied, his normally crisp accent slurring slightly as he spoke. "...or was it three? Either way, it's bloody marvelous!" He pushed himself away from the wall, veering dangerously sideways. She reached out to steady him and as usual he stilled for a moment as she touched him. He tilted his head down towards her, focused on where her hand rested on his arm. Then his eyes met hers, and for just a few seconds, it was as if the world stopped around them.

Until the moment broke. "You should come here more often, Detective!" he commented jovially, righting himself and acting as if nothing had happened. Perhaps it hadn't. Or maybe he was just too far gone to care. Reluctantly she stepped away, observing as he brought the bottle to his lips once more. It was obvious she wasn't going to be having _any_ kind of serious discussion with him tonight.

"Why, to give you an excuse to drink?” Coming here only for you to end up blind drunk isn't exactly a thrilling prospect, Lucifer." She tried to resist the urge to roll her eyes but failed miserably. The slight upturn at the corner of his mouth didn't escape her attention either, having figured out long ago that he rather enjoyed provoking that reaction.

"Well it's a thrilling prospect for me!” he said excitedly. “Takes ages to get drunk without you here." Obviously thrilled with his current condition, he offered her the bottle but she shook her head. One of them should probably be able to walk straight and that definitely wasn’t going to be him at the moment.

"Whatever you say, Mr. Supernatural Metabolism,” she replied with a smirk on her face, waiting for his reaction. And now she really wished she had her phone with her, because there was absolutely no way that anyone was going to believe without evidence that Lucifer Morningstar, the epitome of style and sophistication, had just stuck his tongue out at her.

“Besides," he continued, "I’m not blind. I am in complete control of my facilities. Look!" He lunged forward, intent on proving himself capable of doing _something_ but she would never know what, because within seconds she was struggling to hold him up again after he managed to trip over thin air. She had to bite her lip in order to stop herself laughing as she watched him glare angrily at the ground.

"Since when did two or three glasses of whisky get you this drunk anyway?" she asked conversationally, her arm around his waist as she slowly started to guide him to the street. He span back around, still within her grasp, his face full of righteous indignation as he waggled his whisky around in front of her face dramatically. "Bottles Detective! Bottles! What do you take me for, some kind of – hic! - lightweight?"

And right there, that was the moment she lost it. One minute she was watching him wave his arms about, and the next she was doubled over, tears streaming from her eyes as she laughed. Lucifer Morningstar was an adorable drunk. Who knew?

After the evening she'd had, this was exactly what she needed. Trust Lucifer to be the one to give her what she wanted without her even knowing she wanted it in the first place. When she finally stopped to catch her breath he was watching her, fondness all over his face. She smiled up at him, and he used his free hand to wipe away one of her tears from her cheek. "I love making you laugh," he whispered, like it was a secret of some kind. She opened her mouth to respond but before she could he stepped away, looking horrified at himself. "I apologise, Detective. Please do forget I said anything."

She wanted to reassure him, to say he hadn't done anything wrong, but his eyes pleaded with her not to. So she didn't. Instead, she was the one to give him what he needed for a change. "Seems to me the only thing you have to apologise for is not being able to hold your liquor!" she joked, pleased to see the flash of relief across his features.

"I think you'll find you're sorely mistaken, darling," he purred, his play boy persona sliding back into place like a glove as he began to move closer again. "For as I told you before," he said, lowering his head to hers, close enough that she could feel his breath against her ear. His voice dropped an octave as he spoke smoothly into her ear. "I have excellent stamina." She couldn't stop the shiver that ran down her spine, but for once, he didn't seem to notice as he pulled away from her.

Right. So honesty was taking things too far, but shameless flirting was fine apparently. She fought the urge to roll her eyes again and instead grabbed his hand before he started wandering in the wrong direction. He looked at her for a moment with surprise, before an all too familiar leer began to spread across his face. "De-" he started to say, only to be quickly cut off by Chloe pressing a finger to his lips. "Don't even say it," she said exasperatedly.

And damn him if he didn't just _lick_ her finger. She yanked her hand away, wiping it on her side as glared at him. Lucifer just grinned at her triumphantly, while she chose to ignore the sudden bolt of lust that shot through her at his actions. Tonight was not about that. She might be having doubts about her future. She might be considering other options, even if those options happened to be completely wasted at the moment. But she was still with Marcus, and the last thing she wanted to do was betray him in that way. He didn't deserve that. Even if the man stood in front of her still managed somehow to look completely _delicious_ right now.

He drank from his bottle again as she dragged her thoughts away from that particular observation. She should really take that whisky away from him. If she was actually able to, that is, considering the way he moved it out of her reach as soon as he spotted her attention directed towards it. After letting out an unimpressed huff, she tugged at his shirt. "Come on, let's get you to bed." Inwardly, she cringed as soon as she said it. Outwardly, she corrected herself before he could speak. "And when I say bed, I mean your bed, so you can sleep this off. Alone." _Preferably_.

She could have sworn she heard him mumble something along the lines of _"Always alone these days it seems"_ but it was covered up by the sound of something he'd decided to kick down the alley, nearly losing his balance again in the process. "Wherever you lead I shall follow Detective," was the reply she got instead. She considered for a moment about just how true that was, how he'd refused to leave her side almost from the moment they'd met. Linda was right, he really didn't lie to her, not intentionally at least.

"What are you doing out here anyway?" she asked conversationally as they made their way to the front of the building. It wasn't like him to be skulking in the shadows when he could be inside Lux stealing the limelight. It couldn't be that he was trying to avoid her either, for staying in the penthouse would have been just as effective, especially if he actually locked the elevator for once in his life. Not that she would have gone up there anyway of course. Definitely not.

Her question was met with silence and when she turned to look at him she saw his gaze had been drawn to their intertwined hands again, this time with a foolish lopsided grin on his face that she couldn't have pictured seeing there if she'd tried. Somewhere along the way he'd begun swinging their arms together, much like a child would with their parent. He caught her staring and beamed at her, this one small thing obviously amusing him greatly. At least it had stopped him drinking temporarily, even if he did still have a death grip on the bottle.

She jostled his arm a little, prompting him to answer her. He shrugged without care. “Didn’t want to spoil the party.” Her heart sank a little as guilt washed over her. So avoiding her yes, but not because he didn’t want to see her, but because he thought she didn’t want to see him. And he was right, wasn’t he? She hadn’t even wanted to go to Lux in the first place, and when they had ended up here regardless she’d been relieved he wasn’t there.

The amusement remained on his face as he continued. "Besides, surely you know I'm a responsible devil detective? What kind of club owner would I be if I didn't ensure the safety of my patrons in this... this..." He waved his arm as they rounded the corner to indicate where there was still a queue of people waiting to get into Lux. Unbelievable. The detective knew the nightclub was among the best in the city, but really? It was closer to dawn than it was to dusk now. Didn't these people have homes to go to? Didn't she?

Rather than continue to watch him struggle, she finished his sentence for him. "In this brightly light street you couldn't even see from where you were when I found you?" He pivoted around to face her again, her hand still in his. After one more gulp he waggled the bottle in front of her, indicating he wanted her to hold it. Which she did gladly, considering now that they were in the light she could now see that only about a quarter of its contents remained. Despite the fact he almost always had an alcoholic beverage in his hand of some sort, she didn't quite believe his drunken claim that he was at least two bottles down already. Considering most men would be on the floor by now though, it was probably for the best she kept it away from him.

Of course, she immediately regretted taking it, because he quickly used his now free hand to reach over and bop her on the nose. "Exactly!" he said smugly, holding out his palm in anticipation of his drink being returned. Irritated, she shook her head before taking a sip herself. Wow, that was some strong stuff. The flash of annoyance on his face soon turned to delight as he watched her drink.

"So you're telling me that every night, you come out here to watch over your customers, like some sort of guardian angel? Rather than, oh I don't know, all those times I remember you inside busy dancing, flirting, playing the-" She stopped herself but it was too late. His face fell and he let go of her hand. Before she knew it he'd snatched the bottle back, turning away from her and downing the majority of its contents. He sat down heavily upon the sidewalk, looking very much like the drunk partygoers who would soon be frequenting the outside of Lux come dawn, rather than the suave club owner who presided over them all.

“Lu-“ She started to speak, but he raised his hand to stop her going any further. “It’s perfectly fine Detective. No one comes to listen to me play anymore anyway.” He didn’t look at her, watching the bottle rotate in his hands as the liquid swirled inside. His voice sounded empty, devoid of the joy he’d had moments ago.

She sat down beside him. “That’s not true, Lucifer. It’s not the club that draws them here, it’s you. It’s always been you. Bring the piano back. They’ll come back too, I promise.” She placed her hand upon his, on top of those perfectly manicured hands that seemed designed to create music. He stopped swirling the bottle and looked at her, his eyes full of despair.

“Not those that matter.” It hit her then. He was talking about _her_. She hadn’t been by Lux in weeks. Not since she’d started dating Marcus. The only time had been when she was invited, and even then he’d had to convince her to come. When was the last time she’d come of her own accord? When had she reached the point where the only time she saw Lucifer was at work? When exactly had she started to leave her partner alone?

He sighed, his eyes falling to the floor. As she squeezed his hand lightly he looked up again, but as she went to say something he shook his head. He didn’t want to talk about it anymore. Not with her at least. Distraction then. Falling back to their earlier conversation, she continued, carefully avoiding the subject of the piano. “So how long have you been out here playing hero anyway?” She asked, trying to lighten the mood.

That earned her a small smile. “Oh, about the time it takes to drink 3 bottles I’d say.” He sounded relieved that they’d changed the subject. He carried on. “After all, you had to leave sometime.” Ouch. Well that hurt. He’d been out here all this time waiting for her to go? She knew he was avoiding her at the station, but to go so far as to leave the building rather than be anywhere near her?

So caught up in her own thoughts was she that it took her a moment to realise he was still talking. “…What kind of partner would I be if I didn’t make sure you got home safe?” he mused, beginning to slur his words again. Her heart caught in her throat. He wasn’t avoiding her. He wasn’t waiting for her to leave so he could go inside. He was waiting _for her._ All to make sure she found her way back home.

She would never understand this man. One day he would let her down, and the next it was like helping her was the most important thing in the world. He would put his own life at risk rather than leave her to deal with a dangerous situation by herself, but then follow that up by acting as if literally anyone mattered more to him than she did. He could do something so thoughtful, so incredibly romantic for no other reason than it would make her happy, only to end up breaking her heart by treating her feelings as if they were some game to be won. And she tried to fathom it, she really did, but she couldn’t keep up.

Yet here they were, still together as they sat on the side of the road awaiting the sunrise. She was no longer sure what she wanted from him, and he couldn’t seem to decide what he wanted from her. Rather than talk to her though, he stayed away. Rather than deal with how he was feeling, he drowned his sorrows instead. But despite that, despite everything, he still _cared._

Cared enough to leave his home so she could enjoy herself for an evening. Cared enough to wait outside for hours so he could watch over her. He put caring for her over caring for himself, always. Her mind didn’t know how to feel about that but her heart definitely did.

She’d stayed silent for too long. Lucifer was looking at her curiously, like he knew something was on her mind but he couldn’t quite figure out what. Which was probably something to do with the fact that the bottle in his hand was practically empty now. “Cheer up, Detective,” he urged with an earnest smile, “The night is still young!” He pitched forward, and for a moment it seemed like he was going end up flat on his face in the road, but instead he merely rocked on his heels before rising unsteadily. Once he was upright he offered her a hand, helping her up from the sidewalk with ease. She was slightly off-kilter herself at first as tiredness started to set in, but he held her until she was stable again.

“The night is nearly over,” she said kindly as he let go, not wanting to bring down his good mood now that it had resurfaced. He looked at her in that way he would sometimes, as if she simply didn’t understand the things that he did. It made her both curious and annoyed, wondering what it was he thought he knew that would be such a mystery to her, yet at the same time refusing to even try to explain it.

“Nope!” he replied, popping the ‘p’ as he did so. He backed away from her, raising his arms to the sky. “For the sun is but a star, and the stars are mine to command!” He paused for a moment, confused. “Were mine to command.” She smiled, chuckling to herself as she watched him. He looked ridiculous. Oh, if only she had her phone. He’d never remember this in the morning and she would have taken great pleasure in reminding him.

She crossed her arms, leaning back slightly and continuing to regard him with amusement. “Sure, king of the stars, that’s you, Lucifer.” She could almost believe it as well, the way his face lit up at her words. He came closer and she instinctively took a step backwards, certain that he was about to touch her nose again. And judging by the momentary disappointment on his face, she was right.

“Oh but I was a king!” he said cheerily. His eyebrows knitted together as he swayed backwards, stretching his arm out in front of him to examine his ring, much in the same way she had earlier. “Still am I suppose.” Drunken ramblings or no, it was hard to tell how he felt about that. But then as inebriated minds were wont to do, he skipped over that train of thought to the next one. “What is it you humans say? A castle is a man’s home?”

“A man’s home is his castle,” she corrected, wondering where on earth he was going with this.

“That’s what I said!” He grinned, mischief in his eyes. “And castles have kings do they not? Therefore Detective, I welcome you to Castle Lux!” She could only watch as he span around on the spot, his arms spread wide as he introduced her to his kingdom. Inevitably the whisky bottle flew from his hands, smashing on the asphalt below. He stopped to regard it with a look that was both puzzled and mournful, all at the same time. She had to slap a hand over her mouth to stop herself from giggling, but the movement caught his eye anyway. That same fondness from before returned in the way he looked at her, visibly pleased that he’d made her laugh once more.

“So if you’re the king of the castle, what does that make me then, the dirty rascal?” She quipped.

In an instant he was in front of her again, his face aghast as he grasped her hands in his. “Oh no, no, no Detective, the very thought of it!” He gazed down at her, obviously giving the question great consideration. Then he began spinning her around excitedly, joy taking over his entire being. “You can be my queen!” She laughed as he swung them, his enthusiasm catching. After a few more spins they slowed, and she found herself unable to focus on anything other than him. The way he looked at her… it was as though to him she was the most precious thing in the world. His hands remained wrapped around hers, his thumb brushing over her knuckles in a gentle caress. Until she felt him touch her ring.

Immediately he let go of her, almost like he’d been burned. His face dropped like a stone, and he swallowed heavily as he stared intently at the ground. “No. Not my queen.” Slowly he lifted his head, and her heart broke for him when she saw him frowning, as if cursing himself for not remembering. Finally his eyes met hers, and all she could see there was pain. “Not mine.”

He turned away.

She wouldn’t let him do this. Wouldn’t let him leave her again. Without even thinking she grabbed his arm, pulling him back again. At first it was no different than trying to move a concrete pillar, but as he had done so many times before under her touch he softened, allowing her to guide him to where she wanted him to be. Before she could utter a word though he started talking again, forcing a smile upon his face that in no way reached his eyes.

“A princess then.” Gently he ran his fingers through her hair, tucking a loose strand behind her ear. “You always look like a princess lately.” He wasn’t wrong. She’d taken to wearing her hair down in waves these days, even at work where in all honesty it was rather impractical, especially when she was out on cases. But Marcus liked it down, and she… wait. When did she start changing her appearance for the sake of a man exactly? She’d never had to do that with Lucifer. Or Dan for that matter.

Gently he tucked a finger under her chin and lifted her face up towards him. For a brief, heart stopping moment, she thought might try to kiss her. His lips parted slightly, his deep brown eyes fixed on hers, and she knew then that he wanted to. But he didn’t. Instead, he smiled again, and it was tinged with sadness. “You’re happy. He makes you happy.” He closed his eyes, removing his hand from her face. “Happier than I ever did.”

She wanted to tell him that wasn’t true. Desperately. But how could she? She was happier, even Trixie had noticed. When she thought of who she used to be, it felt like a lifetime ago. The single mother. The cop, dedicated to her job, but who no one wanted to work with. The woman who acted older than her years, spending her evenings alone with no friends to call her own. All of that had changed.

And that, of course, was when she realised. Things _were_ different now. She was different now. But all of that had happened before Marcus was even in the picture. It wasn’t him that had changed her life, it was Lucifer. He’d swept into her world like a storm, changing everything as he went. Every time he made her laugh she became lighter. He’d brought her out of her shell, brought people she loved into her life. He gave her support where she needed it, became the partner she’d wanted but never had. He had caused her pain too, more pain than she could bear sometimes, but that didn’t alter how much better her life was since he came into it.

He was still watching her, looking unsure of himself now that she had fallen silent. She wanted nothing more than to reach out, to comfort him, but she wasn’t sure if that was what he wanted from her in that moment. There was one way to find out. “Lucifer.” He shifted nervously at the sound of her voice. “What’s wrong?”

The look he gave her was incredulous, as if she should already know. And she thought she did, she just wanted to hear him say it. Patiently she waited as he ran his hand through his hair, a frustrated sigh escaping him as he did so. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Instead he just shook his head slightly as he started to back away from her. But she didn’t let him, taking hold of his arms and pulling him towards her. “Please, just be honest with me, for once.” She expected him to argue, to point out as he usually did that he would never lie to her. Instead, he simply held her gaze and did as she asked. He told her the truth.

“I miss you.”

It should have been surprising to her, that he’d finally been so open. But what happened next was so unexpected that it blew surprising out of the window. She went from standing there, her hands lightly resting near his, to being pressed tightly against his chest as he gathered her into his arms and held her close to him. He was hugging her. _Lucifer_ was hugging her, all of his own accord. And so of course, in her shock, she did the worst thing she possibly could have done. This time, it was her that froze.

The warmth of him was gone instantaneously. Hurt flashed across his face, before his jaw set and he strode away from her. Her mind was racing. What had she done? She wanted to chase after him, to say sorry, to explain. But he didn’t give her the chance to do any of that. He was already at the street, arm outstretched as he hailed a cab. Unbelievably one pulled up right away, even cab drivers being unable to resist his magnetism apparently.

“Come along, Detective!” He beckoned, the cheery tone he’d put on cracking slightly as his emotions leaked through, still very much under the influence of the alcohol he’d consumed. He waved at her, encouraging her to hurry. “Places to see, people to be!” Reluctantly she walked over to him, her heart heavy. It couldn’t be more obvious that he wanted rid of her as quickly as possible, and she couldn't blame him really.

After slipping the driver what looked like way too many bills for the journey, he opened the car door, ever the gentlemen no matter his state of mind. She stopped before getting inside, turning towards him one last time in the hope that he would let her apologise. Instead, his voice grew serious. “Time to go now. Cain will be waiting for you after all.” She must have shot him a look without meaning to, because he drew backwards, his hands out in front of him in surrender. “As you wish, Detective. Pierce it is.”

Sighing, she held onto the car door as she went to get inside, not really wanting to leave but also thankful that this evening was finally coming to an end. It was no use talking to him like this. She stilled though, when she felt him cover her hand with his own. “It’s harder than you think, you know,” he said softly.

She glanced up at him, half expecting to see a smirk on his face as he prepared to follow with a dirty comment of some kind. But he just looked heartbroken. “What is?” She all but whispered.

He leaned closer, fixing her with those dark eyes of his. “Telling the truth, when all anyone wants you to do is lie,” he said sadly.

She couldn’t just leave him like this. Leaning further into the car, she caught the attention of the driver, wanting to ask him to wait. But as soon as she took her eyes off Lucifer, a strange sound came from behind her at the same time as sudden gust of wind blew her hair in front of her face. She turned in the direction of the noise… only to find Lucifer was gone.

Because of course he was.

Casting one last look skyward at the penthouse, she forced herself to get inside the cab. The driver pulled away, and she rested her head against the car window as she watched the city pass by. She expected to leave having made a decision. A decision she hadn’t even imagined she would be making twelve hours ago. Because as much as Marcus loved her, she knew now that Lucifer did too.

No longer could she fool herself into believing that despite the feelings he obviously had for her, that he didn’t want to be with her in that way. Lost in her thoughts, she began to twist the ring on her finger around with one hand, while the other found its way into her pocket, gripping the necklace there tightly. Two men in love with her. One running towards her, while the other ran away. But if she was honest with herself, there was only one she wanted to run to.

Was it the right choice though? She didn’t know. Marcus was reliable, steady, predictable. He didn’t pretend to be anything other than who he was. Lucifer was none of those things. He held her heart, but her mind knew better. And she cared for Marcus, she really did. There was her future to think about as well. She closed her eyes, holding back the tears that were threatening to form. Because she knew, without a doubt, that any future with Marcus would very likely not have Lucifer in it. The thought of which was something she didn’t know if she could bear.

There was only thing she knew for certain.

She couldn’t do this anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to my husband, who once came home from the pub and informed me he was in complete control of his facilities.


	6. Chapter 6

_"We're the best partners this world's ever seen, together as close as can be.  
But sometimes it's hard to find time in between, to tell you what you mean to me."_

 

They'd barely made it a few blocks before she asked for the cab to be turned around. She made it seem like she'd forgotten something, but it was the thought that she'd forgotten  _someone_ that she couldn't get out of her head.

Thanks to the overly generous tip he'd received, the driver had been more than happy to let her use his phone. Straight away she sent a message to Marcus to check if he was awake, explaining that she'd left her bag behind and that she’d call as soon as she retrieved it. It didn't take him long to reply; just as Lucifer had said he'd obviously been waiting up for her. When the text alert went off so quickly she couldn't help but feel guilty about that.

The feeling soon went away though when Marcus informed her that Trixie was no longer at her sleepover, but back at the apartment with him. Worry twisted in her gut at the thought. For the first time the idea of him looking after her alone concerned her. Normally she would tell herself she was being ridiculous, after all this wasn't the first time, but considering what she was about to do...

Immediately she called Dan. It was early, too early, but she knew he would always pick up a call from her regardless. Groggily he answered the phone, the concern evident in his voice. After she explained the situation, he was more than happy to collect Trixie. So happy in fact, that she couldn't help but wonder if he was actually secretly pleased she was calling the whole thing off.

Just before the call ended, she heard a distinctly recognisable voice in the background calling Dan back to bed. Despite everything going on, she couldn't help but smile. It was about time he and Charlotte were able to move forward together. She could only hope that soon enough she'd be able to do the same.

Before she knew it they were back at the club, the driver thrilled at having made such a large amount of money in such a short space of time. He was still thanking her profusely through the window even as he drove away. She stood on the sidewalk for a while, gazing up towards the top of the building as the sunrise began to reflect upon the windows.  _I'm just going to check on him, that's all,_ she told herself, ignoring the way her heart sped up at the thought of seeing him again.

First things first though, there was something important she had to face. Something she had been dreading since she made her decision. To say this was going to be difficult was an understatement, but it was the right thing to do, there was no doubt in her mind about that now. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath, and walked over to the entrance to Lux.

The line had dissipated in the time it had taken her to return, those still waiting no doubt having been told to give up and go home. Partygoers were spilling out onto the street, happy but exhausted. The bouncer, more used to turfing people out than letting people in at this time of the morning, gave her a nod of recognition as she made her way back inside. It paid to be a friend of the owner sometimes.

The club was almost empty now, no music to be heard, the lights turned down low as the staff began closing up for the night. No matter the time of day, it always felt like night inside Lux. She'd always preferred the club like this, without the hustle and the bustle. The contrast reminded her very much of the two sides of Lucifer himself, the good and the bad, the light and the dark.

As she'd hoped, her belongings had been tucked behind the bar out of sight. She unlocked her phone with a grimace; sixteen texts and multiple missed calls. The majority were from Maze, demanding to know where she was, a few from Ella saying she was worried, and just the one from Charlotte telling her to call so that Ella would  _stop_ worrying. The rest were from Marcus.

 _\- Maze called. Why are you at Lux?_  
\- _Maze can't find you. You're with him, aren't you?_  
_\- Chloe, call me._  
_\- CALL ME._

But she couldn't call, not yet. As the staff began to leave she made her way back to the booth she'd originally started her evening in, never taking her eyes off the phone screen. Finally, it lit up with a message from Dan.

-  _Got her._

She'd barely finished her sigh of relief before her phone started ringing.  _Marcus._  She stared at his name until the call cut out. It wasn't that she was afraid to answer, she just wasn't sure what to say. How do you tell a man who loves you that you no longer want to marry him? On a night which was supposed to be all about celebrating that marriage? Her phone flashed again as the next call came through. The seconds ticked by as she steeled herself for what was to come. Then, with apprehension settling in the pit of her stomach, she answered.

It was over. She felt cowardly for breaking it off over the phone, but the same instinct that told her to get Trixie away from him made her think twice about ending things face to face. And judging by how their conversation had gone, she'd been right. It was to be expected that her decision would shock him, devastate him even, but the way he'd spoken to her... she hadn't anticipated that. She hadn't ever thought he was that kind of man. It was clear to her now that marrying him would have been the worst mistake of her life.

An uncertain future lay ahead of her now. She'd always known Lucifer wanted her, knew now that he loved her even if he hadn't realised it yet, but she suspected that neither of them had given much thought to what a life together would be like. Things with Marcus had been planned, predictable. She never knew what to expect when it came to her partner. Her eyes drifted to the elevator. Should she go up? It seemed a little crass to move on from finishing one relationship to seeking the start of another so soon.

But right now she needed a friend, and whatever Lucifer was, he was always that. He was also very likely passed out on his bed by now. She smiled at the idea. Perhaps she could talk to him much like he had to her when he returned from Vegas. Of course, she had actually been awake, something he was unaware of at the time. She should pretend to be asleep around him more often. Still smiling, she decided to push thoughts of Marcus to the back of her mind for now, and headed for the elevator.

It was only once she was inside that she started to feel nervous. What if he wasn't alone? It had been barely an hour since she'd left him, so surely he hadn't had time to... Oh who was she kidding, it wouldn't take him five minutes to find someone to come upstairs with him if that was what he wanted. It's just who he was. A man of desire, designed to be desired. Male, female, available or taken, it didn't matter. They all wanted him. And now she did too.

The elevator pinged its arrival. She spotted him straight away, facing away from her in one of the armchairs near the stairs. Without turning around, he greeted her. "Detective! Back so soon?" How he could tell it was her without looking she could never understand. She drifted over to him, reluctantly noting that he hadn't sounded quite so enthusiastic to see her as he had earlier. Her fingers lightly ran over the back of his chair, not quite touching him but close enough as she noticed his breath catch slightly regardless.

"I thought I'd come check on you," she replied, her interest caught by the sight of him sitting there with a large book in his hands, written in a language she didn’t recognise. Latin maybe? He looked better than he had outside, his hair tamed once again, his missing jacket back where it belonged. How many drunk people came home and smartened themselves up exactly? It was Lucifer though, she probably shouldn't really be surprised.

He closed the book, resting it on his lap as he looked up at her. "Ah. I thought perhaps you'd come to retrieve your property."

She was about to explain that she'd already found her bag, but the words died on her lips when she saw Lucifer gesture at the coffee table beside him. There, lying next to his usual tumbler of whisky, was her sash. Or what was left of it anyway, considering it now appeared to be in several pieces.

Lucifer simply shrugged at her as she turned her gaze questioningly towards him. "Well if you will leave your belongings in a nightclub, Detective, they are likely to get... damaged."

Shaking her head slightly, she collapsed into the armchair next to him with a smile. He wasn't fooling her. "I kind of hated it anyway."

The corner of his mouth twitched at that. "I can't say I cared much for the decoration."

"Pink gemstones aren't your thing?" she said teasingly.

He tilted his head to one side, as if giving the subject some serious thought. "Depends on the outfit, I suppose."

An awkward silence fell between them, something she was unused to, considering Lucifer's penchant for talking. It was obvious he was wondering what she was really doing here, given it wasn't all that long ago that he'd basically sent her away. She didn't know how to answer that unspoken question, so in the end she just said the first thing she could think of, anything to break the silence. "So this is what you do then, at the end of a long night? You come up here and read?"

Subconsciously his fingers ran down the spine of the book he was holding. She'd never noticed before, never been up this close, but now that she was she could see just how well kept his library was. Bindings restored, cracks repaired, stitches resewn. And not a speck of dust on any of them, although that wasn't exactly out of the ordinary for Lucifer's apartment. It was obvious he cared a great deal about his collection. He glanced down at the tome in his hands. "When I don't have guests, yes. Which is more often than not, lately."

She smiled inwardly at that. Which made no sense, considering she'd been the one turning him down all this time, but still, it was encouraging to hear of the change in his bedroom habits. Speaking of which, "I'd have thought Fifty Shades of Grey would have been more your thing."

He threw her a look of disdain. "You do realise that's just Twilight fanfiction, Detective? I may be immortal, but even I don't have time to read fanfiction."

The retort was on the tip of her tongue before she even had time to think about it. "You read Twilight?" she said, lifting an eyebrow at him.

He looked embarrassed for a second. "I developed an unfortunate habit of reading the bestsellers of the past few decades when I had the time. That particular series was the first lesson humanity had to teach me; never listen to popular opinion."

The slip hadn't escaped her attention. "So you didn't enjoy the first book... but you still read the rest anyway?" And there it was, the expression she knew so well. The one that said  _I'm not dignifying that with an answer_  but actually meant  _I don't lie so I'm not answering_. In return, she shot him a grin that let him know  _I'm never letting you live this down_.

"How many books do you own anyway?" she asked, taking in the abundance of shelves that stretched right up into the roof space above. She wondered if he'd read them all. She couldn't imagine he'd spent that many nights alone here since his arrival in LA.

Removing the book from his lap and placing it on the coffee table, he rose from his chair with that smooth elegance she'd always envied, standing before his wall of books. "I've never counted. These are just my favourites though; the rest are split between my other residences."

Chloe contemplated what that meant for a second. "You must have quite the collection then, considering how much real estate you own." He looked over his shoulder at her, his face curious. She gave him a small shrug. "Dan. When we were trying to find you during that whole Sinnerman fiasco."

"Ah, I see." He gave her a hesitant, strange look, almost as if he was about to say something but thought better of it. Like so many other things, it seemed unlikely she'd ever find out what. "I'm assuming Daniel only discovered my properties in California?" he said offhandedly, pulling out a book from a nearby shelf to examine it briefly before returning it.

"You have more? In the US?" He gave her smile, one that said  _getting closer._ "The world then? How many?"

"I'm afraid I don't know, not exactly." He'd moved on now, pulling out books randomly, repositioning the various artefacts that decorated the spaces in between as he went.

She crossed her arms, craning her neck to watch him. "How can you not know?"

"Maze used to handle logistics remember? I believe I own a particular amount of properties in England, her idea of a practical joke I think. Other than that, though?" He paused, replacing the latest object he'd been playing with back to its original position. "I trusted her. She knows my likes and dislikes." He stopped again, distracted by his thoughts for a moment. "Part of the problem really."

She wondered what he meant by that, whether he was referring to what she'd overheard about Maze earlier. Knowing he was unlikely to tell her though, she decided to stay on the subject of his library, something he had clearly been enjoying having someone to talk to about. "Where are they all from then, your books?"

"Throughout the world and throughout history, Detective. At one time my collection was actually much larger," he said mournfully, running a finger over what looked to be a roll of papyrus. "Most of it was lost in a fire." She heard him sigh. "Nobody did write quite like the Egyptians."

He seemed to come back to himself as he drew his hand away and ran it across the spines of the books on the nearest shelf. "To answer your question fully though. Some were bought... many were gifts..." He flashed her a wicked grin. "And some were stolen."

She rolled her eyes at him with amusement. "Why does that not surprise me?"

He snapped his fingers. "Oh, and some of them I wrote myself of course."

Well that was something she hadn't expected to hear. "You write?"

"On occasion. It gave me something to do when I tired of reading. Not much in the way of entertainment in Hell you see. The screams get boring after the first few eons." He abandoned the exploration of his belongings then, collapsing gracefully back into the chair next to her. "Easier to act as a muse though. I helped out a delightful fellow by the name of Dante once."

And there was the drunken rambling she'd been expecting to hear again. Up until now he'd been surprisingly coherent. In fact, for him to start now was rather odd, considering she hadn't seen him take a single sip of his whisky since she got here. She decided to indulge him though. "And here was me thinking it was all just for show."

He gasped, a hand flying to his chest as he pretended to be hurt by her words. "I'll have you know I have read each and every one of these books a hundred times or more, Detective."

Did he really expect her to believe that? "I haven't even read Coraline that many times, Lucifer, and that's Trixie's favourite."

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say. His face dropped slightly and he stared down at his own hands, as if he were trying to find the words to make her understand. "I could only carry so many at a time, you see."

"Books?" Her eyebrows drew together in confusion. "To where?"

"To Hell of course." He sighed, recalling memories that were obviously difficult for him to talk about. "My visits to Earth were few and far between. Often, I'd find that decades had passed, but for me it was thousands of years." Noticing that the confused expression on her face remained, he elaborated. "Time passes much slower in hell."

Awkwardly he shifted in his seat, suddenly uncomfortable despite being the picture of relaxation just moments before. "When I arrived I'd replace the books from my previous visit and choose new ones to take, as many as I could manage. It was the only condition I had before allowing one of my siblings to escort me back."

He smiled then, a gleam in his eye. "Sometimes, especially when I was younger, I'd make it here and back again before anyone even noticed I was gone. Just enough time to swap the dog-eared ones out." He reached for his whisky, knocking the contents back in one go. "Not that the ruler of Hell has much free time on his hands, but I made do where I could. As you can imagine, a few millennia is more than enough time to read a book so often you might never want to read it again." He looked up, trailing his eyes over the many volumes stacked to the ceiling above. "I have most of these committed to memory."

Sometimes, when she was lying in bed unable to sleep, she thought about Hell. She had most of Lucifer's metaphors worked out by now, why he believed himself to be the Devil, how in his mind his righteous brother became an angel, and it was easy to see how someone might consider Maze a demon.

But Hell? She could only imagine what kind of situation he'd been in to remember it like that. Somewhere he'd been trapped for long enough that it felt like years. A place he'd been banished to far too young. How young she didn't know. It was a question she'd never asked for fear of the answer. She hated to think of him that way, alone and abandoned.

Realising he'd gone silent, she leaned over to him, her hand reaching for his. She saw his hand twitch in return, as though it yearned to touch hers, but just as she got close enough he pulled away and sprang up from his chair. Disappointment ran through her. What kind of life had he led where being comforted was such a foreign concept to him?

"You must forgive me, Detective, it appears I've been rather remiss in my hosting duties. May I offer you a drink?" He wasn't looking at her, his eyes drawn back to the empty glass upon the coffee table. Or at least that's what she thought, until she heard him say under his breath "Let me just..." before picking up the book that still lay there. She chuckled to herself, at the man who couldn't bear to leave anything out of place for too long.

She watched as he walked over to the ladder, only to stare confoundedly as he practically leapt to the top of it in one single bound. Too late, she remembered the amount of alcohol he'd consumed over the last few hours. "Lucifer, be careful!" she scolded, rising hurriedly from the armchair she was sitting in and walking towards him. "You'll..."

He slotted the book back into its rightful place, before swinging out from the ladder to look at her, only one hand grasping the rung above him. "I'll what, Detective?"

She anticipated having to try and catch him. She waited for the ladder to wobble, for his grip to loosen. But none of those things happened. He was steady, perfectly balanced despite his precarious position. "...fall?"

"Nonsense." He grinned down at her. "Besides, I'd hardly consider that a fall." He jumped down, landing perfectly in front of her.

And that was when she realised. The effortless grace. The groomed appearance. The unaffected speech.

"You're not drunk."

"Hmm, it would appear that way, wouldn't it?" He strode over to the coffee table and swiped up his glass, holding it up to the light as though to check it was truly empty, before spinning on his heels and heading to the bar. If she hadn't been standing so close as he went past her, she might have missed him grumble, _"Another bloody thing you make worse by leaving."_

She didn't know what that meant and she didn't care to ask either. How could he be sober again? Had what happened outside all been an act? No, that couldn't be the case. He was so open with her, far more open than she could remember him being for a while now. And then there was the way he was dressed, the jumbled words... none of that was her Lucifer. She smiled inside at the thought. _Her Lucifer._

Perhaps that hair of the dog, triple espresso combo worked wonders after all. Either that or he had discovered some sort of energy drink concoction that worked almost instantly. It would explain how he managed to show up annoyingly bright eyed and bushy tailed to the precinct some days despite claiming he'd been busy 'entertaining' all night.

Deciding to shrug it off for now, she followed him to the bar, watching as he leaned over to pull a bottle from behind. She heard him filling his glass as she approached, his body silhouetted against the amber glow in front of him. "A situation soon remedied now you've returned Detective!" he said with that deceptively cheerful voice, the one he used whenever he wanted to mask how he was truly feeling.

Just as he was about to throw his drink back though, she caught his arm from behind. "Lucifer, don't." He paused, but didn't look at her, as though he couldn't bear to see the concern upon her face. Then he practically slammed both the glass and the bottle he was holding back down, shaking off her hand as he did so.

"Why are you really here, Detective?" he asked, his shoulders hunched as he braced his hands against the bar. The careful facade he'd put in place was gone now, the turmoil within him clearly visible.

"I told you, I came to check..." She stopped mid-sentence as Lucifer tightened his grip against the counter, the wood splintering underneath.

"Do not _lie_ to me, Detective! I always tell you the truth, the least you could do is pay me the same courtesy." He let go of the edge of the bar, reaching once more for the whisky he so often used as a lifeline. "You haven't felt the need to check up on me in weeks."

He was right. And what was she supposed to say to that? _Sorry that I forgot about you as soon as another man came into the picture. Sorry that I saw you were suffering but didn't do anything about it. Sorry that I left you alone..._

She stayed silent, unable to find the perfect words that would heal this rift between them. The rift she'd caused. He turned to face her, straightening as he did so, burying what he was feeling down deep like he had so many times before, the tension seemingly draining out of him.

He lowered his head to look at her, eyes raking up over her body. When his eyes reached hers, what she saw there chilled her. He'd leered at her plenty of times in the past but this was almost vicious, a lechery that she'd never seen in him before.

"Or perhaps you're here to fulfill another need, Detective?" he asked as he stepped towards her, slow and seductive, his eyes never leaving hers for a second. She'd forgotten what it was like to have the full force of his attention focused solely on you, but oh boy was she remembering now. "It is tradition, is it not? One last fling, one last night of pleasure, before surrendering to mundanity of matrimony?"

The word _pleasure_ dripped off his tongue, causing her to shiver involuntarily. He took that as a sign to move even closer, a joyless smile appearing on his face having drawn a reaction from her so easily. "I've certainly played my part enough times over the years," he continued in that smooth, deep voice of his, "They all come to me for that. I give them what they desire, and then they leave."

Those dark eyes drew her in, and without even realising she tilted her face up to meet his. Their lips were so close now that she could feel the words upon her skin as he whispered, "Is that what you want Detective?"

Then abruptly he drew back, her body instantly missing the heat of his. "Because I won't give it to you." He stalked away from her, snatching up his glass as he went and downing the contents. "I have no interest in giving you the best night of your life."

That she hadn't been expecting, and it stung. Her voice was quiet when she spoke, so quiet in fact she thought he might not hear her at all. But she had to ask. "Don't you want me anymore?"

He rounded on her, his face incredulous. "Want you? _Want you?_ Of course I bloody well want you. I've wanted you since the moment we met!"

So that hadn't changed. It was something that would never change between them it seemed. Because as loath as she was to admit it, it hadn't taken her long to want him as well. How could she not? What with those tailored suits that did nothing to hide the long lines of his body, knowing all too well what that body looked like that lay beneath. Never mind that face staring down at her all day, with those dark eyes that so often appeared in her dreams.

"Why then...?"

He closed his eyes briefly then, clearly exasperated. "Because, Detective, I want to give you the best night of your life _every_ night. I want you here in my bed, here with me, every second of every day." He stared at her with a steely expression, letting her know that he meant every word he'd said.

Her breath caught; this was the closest he'd ever come to admitting how he felt. She tried to respond, but he carried on talking right over her as he let his gaze drop from her face.

"But you don't want me. You didn't _choose_ me. So I'll ask you again, _why are you here?"_

Lucifer respected the truth. His beliefs about himself and his past aside, he was always honest with her. For some reason, it was incredibly important to him. A point of pride, he'd called it. Perhaps he was right, perhaps she owed him the same.

"Because I wanted to know how you feel about me."

Laughter rang through the air, sharp and bitter. "What is it with you humans and feelings? Been there, done that. Not an experience I wish to repeat, thank you."

What was he talking about? In all the time she'd known him, she couldn't recall a time he'd ever opened up to anyone, not fully. Especially not to her. Linda maybe, but somehow she doubted even the doctor had been privy to all of his secrets, of which there were so many, locked away deep inside.

"I don't understand."

He whipped his head up, no longer laughing but still so very bitter. "Understand this then Detective. I had every intention of telling you how I feel. I _came_ to tell you how I feel. And all I _felt_ was what it was like to watch you say yes to _him_."

Dread filled her. He'd been there? He'd seen?

Thoughts of how that evening could have gone differently started to run through her mind. If only Marcus hadn't come over that night. If only she hadn't said yes right away. If only she'd stayed at Lux and waited for Lucifer to finally, _finally,_ admit how he felt about her.

If only.

Because that night she had wanted him to, more than anything. When the question of who she deserved left her lips, she was hoping, praying even, that he would give her the answer she longed for. It didn't matter the distance that had grown between them, it didn't matter that she was with Marcus. All that she cared about in that moment was how he responded.

Which of course, hadn't been what she wanted to hear. He'd left her heartbroken once again and she had sworn to herself that it would be the last time. So when she got home and Marcus proposed... well she'd made what she knew now to be a rash decision. At the time though, it felt logical. The man kneeling in front of her had been nothing but good to her. He loved her. And she needed, so badly, to be with someone who wanted to be with her.

The next morning she'd awoken with doubts, but one look at Lucifer in the precinct had made her all the more determined to push those worries to the back of her mind. The engagement had been announced, and she'd thrown herself into her new life. But she'd made a mistake. And it wasn't just accepting the proposal, or going home that night, or leaving Lux in the first place. No, the mistake was during the dinner at the penthouse. _Because she'd asked him the wrong question._

It had taken her until now to realise it. For he'd told her already, that day on the beach. _You deserve someone worthy of you and that isn't me._ He hadn't thought himself worthy of her then and he still didn't now. So what else did she expect him to say when she asked him who deserved her? _You deserve someone better._ All this time and nothing had changed. He was never going to say himself in answer to her question, because to him, it wasn't true.

The tension in the air between them was palpable. He was still breathing heavily, his hands clenched into fists at his sides in frustration. But then, right in front of her, he visibly deflated. It dawned on her that he'd been standing there waiting for her to say something for several minutes. She'd thought her conversation earlier with Marcus was going to be hard, but it had been nothing compared to trying to talk to Lucifer. She wasn't handling any of this well at all.

"I don't know what you want from me," he said defeatedly, focusing on some point in the distance behind her, on anything that wasn't her. "Nothing I do is good enough."

She couldn't bear this, couldn't stand to see him hurting so much. "Lucifer, that's not true." She tried to take his arm again, to give him any kind of comfort, but he quickly stepped out of her reach.

"But it _is_ true, Detective! I don't understand how any of this works. He buys you roses, I buy you a car. He cooks you a meal, I give you the romantic dinner of your dreams. He buys you a ring, I buy you-" He pulled up short, his eyes widening as he realised his mistake.

Her heart caught in her throat. Was he about to say what she thought? Her voice came out smaller than she meant it to as she asked, "You bought me a ring?" He looked abashed for a moment before staring pointedly at the floor.

"Yes, well, that hardly matters now, does it?"

No longer caught, her heart was beating so fast she thought it might leave her chest at any moment. "Can I see it?" she asked, the words escaping her before she could even think about stopping them.

He looked at her curiously, nervously even. "Is that what you desire?"

She nodded. At that point in time, she wanted nothing more. A few seconds ticked by while he continued to study her. It felt like her was searching for some hidden signal on her part, a sign that this was the path he should take. Then, after a shaky breath, he reached into his jacket pocket. Which was when it hit her.

He'd been carrying it around with him. _He'd been carrying it around with him._

Almost in unison they moved towards each other, her with her palm outstretched, him with the ring held tightly within his closed fingers. When his hand hovered over hers though, he paused. She looked at him questioningly.

"Do not mistake my intentions, Detective. I am not, nor will I ever be, the marrying kind. You must understand that."

She nodded again. Because she did. Without having ever really thought about it, she understood. Lucifer remained convinced he was immortal, despite the evidence to the contrary. If indeed they did live in some kind of crazy universe where that was actually true, what kind of immortal would ever choose to tie himself to a mortal in that way? Surely even falling in love would be foolish, knowing the inevitable heartbreak that lay ahead.

Time seemed to slow as he opened his hand, the ring falling into hers. As soon as it landed he turned away, stalking out onto the balcony. She considered following him, but something stopped her. This moment, it seemed important somehow. Which was probably silly, it was only a piece of jewellery after all, but that didn't alter the sense of anticipation she felt as she finally turned her attention to what she held within in her hand.

_Oh._

It was breathtaking. Two stones lay encased in silver, the metal looped and twisted around each one forming an elegant figure of eight. A stone as black as the ring on Lucifer's hand sat on one side, with another gemstone mirroring it almost the exact same colour as her eyes. In the centre, tying it all together was a third stone, small and pearlescent. It was, in a word, perfect.

Lucifer stood looking out over the city, framed by the morning sunlight. She saw him tense as she approached. Slowly, carefully, she moved closer, as though she were approaching an injured animal that might bolt at any moment. He watched her cautiously, waiting for her reaction, uncertainty written all over his face. "Lucifer, it's beautiful," she whispered, knowing now that he'd hear her no matter how quietly she spoke.

A flash of relief crossed his face before his expression grew solemn. She wanted to say more, but before she could he held out his hand, silently asking for her to return the ring. She held onto it tighter, not willing to give it up quite yet. "What's the stone in the middle?" she blurted out, the first thing that came to mind. The corner of his mouth quirked at the question.

"I was under the impression you were a good mother, Detective. Surely you know the spawn's birth stone?"

He'd remembered Trixie. He'd remembered to include her daughter, in a way that Marcus never had. Tears filled her vision and her heart felt close to bursting. Just when she thought she couldn't love this man more.

His arm gently brushed against hers, his hand remaining outstretched as he waited for her to give back what she'd already started thinking of as hers. When she still didn't let the ring go he lowered his hand to hers, holding it lightly. "I would gladly let you keep it," he said softly, "But I have it on good authority that wearing jewellery gifted by another man is not appropriate when one is due to be wed."

His eyes drifted to her neck, and she felt a wave of guilt wash over her. She didn't think he'd noticed. Of course he'd noticed. But it gave her an idea. Slipping her other hand into her pocket, she gathered up the necklace inside. Then much like he had to her, she offered it to him, fingers closed around it tightly. When he laid his palm flat she placed it there, smiling as he looked down at her in confusion.

"I never should have taken it off."

Turning around, she swept her hair to the side. "Could you?" she asked, eager to feel that comforting weight around her neck again, the one she'd missed far more than she ever thought she would. She felt, rather than heard him draw nearer, the warmth of his body against her back, the feel of his hands shaking as he hung the necklace in place. Smoothing her hair back down, he didn't pull away, but rather rested his hands upon her shoulders, as if he couldn't bring himself to stop touching her quite yet.

"Why an infinity symbol, Lucifer?"

He stiffened. Perhaps he hadn't expected her to know the significance of the ring he'd so obviously had designed specifically for her. His hands fell from her shoulders, his voice filled with sorrow as he spoke.

"I'm going to live a lot longer than you, Detective."

Immortal. He thought he was immortal. The gravity of what exactly this ring meant to him was overwhelming, and to her, it meant only one thing.

"Lucifer, do you love me?" she asked, a question that she already knew the answer to, but had to ask anyway.

A simple question indeed, but still one he hadn't been expecting judging by the shock she saw on his face when she turned back towards him. She waited patiently for his brain to kick back into gear, but even when it did he still stumbled.

"Detective, I..."

Linda's words from earlier echoed in her mind. _I didn't ask. I demanded._

"You need to tell me. Tell me, or you're going to lose me. Maybe not now, maybe not soon, but one day, eventually, you will."

The look in his eyes turned from shock to panic. Then, as she stepped forward to take both of his hands in hers, the ring she was still holding pressing against both of their palms, it changed to something akin to fear. "Haven't I lost you already?" he breathed. She smiled softly as she shook her head, and that fear became tinged by an element of hope.

Removing a hand from his, she cupped his face for a moment, bringing his head down towards hers, just as she had done once before. He'd asked her if this was real then, and she'd known that it was, as much as she'd tried to convince herself later on that it wasn't. This time though, she didn't press her forehead to his. This time, she wanted him to focus on what she was about to do next.

Slowly, deliberately, she removed the diamond ring she wore, the one that had never felt quite right there. She heard Lucifer's breath hitch as he watched, unable to tear his eyes away from the sight of her sliding his ring onto her finger instead. It was a perfect fit. A symbol of those she loved that belonged upon her hand, just like he belonged to her.

"Do you love me?" she asked once more.

This time, when he raised his eyes to hers, there was no fear there, only wonder and longing.  
  
“Chloe," he said, in that special way he reserved only for her name.

"I will love you until the end of time.”

And as her lips touched his, she let her engagement ring fall to the floor.

 

_So hard times or easy times, what do I care, there's nothing I'd change if I could.  
The tears and the laughter are things that we share, your hand in mine makes it good._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to my beta EmmyLeigh, along with Sandra, Alu, Eleanor, LeighAnne, Lesza and Kimberly, all of whom took the time to read and offer their opinions on sections of this story as I went along. Thank you all for your encouragement and advice.

**Author's Note:**

> Title/lyrics taken from 'I Still Miss Someone' & 'Rose of my Heart' by Johnny Cash.
> 
> Follow me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/NotOneLineFF) for sneak peeks & Lucifer chat.


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